Korea

Korea has been on my mind a lot lately, mainly because of it being in the news so much. I have a really bad feeling about North and South being on the brink of war lately. I guess I always pay a little more attention and get a bit more emotional when I see South Korea on the news than other places. (Except sometimes America.)
I also went to a Korean grocery store because I have been trying the food this past year. I got some grape juice that has actual grapes at the bottom of it; you eat them after you drink the juice. I almost choked on one when I was driving. There is actually a warning on the can. I got some frozen food as well. I really liked the grocery store, except that the smell of fish in there is horrendous. I love Korea. I pray for it and its people.

artwork

Last night I did a marathon project work session and made all of my drawings. I was a little worried that they would turn out looking crappy and homemade (well they are homemade) but they actually look cool and I think I managed to pull it off. I photographed all of them and put them on my zip drive. Tonight they're going onto my Dreamweaver website. I didn't match them with specific pages because I wanted to play around a bit and take a chance. I kept my text in mind when I was doing the drawings but I guess I'll see what goes together best. I am better at creating art when I'm not trying to force a plan into it. Some of them are calendar pages and some are notebook paper. I wanted to stick with my original idea. For some reason, my mind insisted that they be notebook paper and calendar pages, not anything fancier. Things I've learned from this project are that I feel much better when I don't procrastinate, and it's a good thing to trust my instincts-rarely will they lead my astray.

My list of things I'm thankful for

Cats
New friends
My boyfriend
My new job
Hazelnut coffee
My car
Having access to a computer with internet
Learning self-discipline
Warm socks
My brain, which always surprises me and we have been getting along lately
Learning to like giving speeches
Dried Mediterranean apricots
Turning 25 in a week
My rubber tree plant
Health insurance
Fingernail clippers
Fax machines
Television and movies

New Ideas for Website artwork

Now I'm thinking about making my drawings more elaborate-with fabric and beads or paint. They are still going to be on notebook paper, however. These little ink drawings are getting more and more crazy in my mind. They still must correspond to the text. I will need to work on this every day this week in order to create my vision. I am also still trying to figure out how this idea of the life cycle corresponds to this project and also to the drawings. I don't think I am going to figure it all out right away. I know that my project has a looping effect, and the days of the week also have a looping effect. (You always end up back where you started, yet somehow when you start again it is always in a slightly different place.) I don't want to try to to control too much of the project, however. I want it to go where it wants to.

Notebook paper drawings

I had this idea that instead of taking photographs for my project, I am going to create the artwork on pieces of notebook paper. These will be pretty elaborate drawings that correspond to each page of my hypertext narrative. (So hopefully they'll look cool.) I may make some of them partly collage as well. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head, especially after some really bad and boring photography that I took of objects around the house. Its kind of a different idea, but I like it and I'm willing to do something a little strange to make my project more interesting.
There were already some pretty cool drawings that I did in my journal that have nothing to do with the project. I'm going to use some of those if they fit with any of my hypertext pages. I might look through old journals as well and see if I can find some other drawings.
I'm not sure what the link between the notebook paper drawings and my hypertext site is (or if there needs to be one) but I'd like to come up with an explanation anyways.

Procrastination and other old pitfalls

I am REALLY GLAD I went into the computer lab to work on my project today. I got most of it done. The thing is, I was seriously contemplating not going in because I wanted to do stuff around the house, etc. Just thinking about how much work I would have left if I hadn't gone in today makes me cringe. I don't even think the lab will be open next week. Yay for the times when I choose not to procrastinate.

Not going to post pictures of this...

Well I know better than to post pictures of pets, but I have had a new experience in the past two weeks. I now live with two cats and this has been the weirdest and best experience ever. I was never much of an animal person until I got my dog Sandy 10 years ago. But cats? Never thought it would happen. This is out there. And I actually like them. One of them bites me all the time but not hard. He's kind of chubby and obsessed with food. The girl is thin and delicate and feminine, very pretty. They follow me everywhere and get in my way when I'm trying to do work at the computer. Cats. Good lord.

My project has turned into a way to vent

My project is going alright but I'm terrified because I have no clue as to how it will turn out. I did get a good idea for photographing my doodles out of a notebook and putting them as the background for my website. I am a born doodler. I wanted the background color to be mint green but it must be a lot lighter. Must get away from the dark coloring on these websites! As for the content, I made a story board out of notecards and wrote down one line on each. I made a "tree" and pasted it onto a huge piece of cardboard. The day I was working on the poetry was an angry day for me. My lines turned into venting so the whole project isn't all positive. This project has turned into a good way for me to vent. I'll probably end up making way more than thirty pages so that I can express my unexpressed pissed-offness at the world.

List

Belly button lint
cat
mole
sports bra
friendship
stress
toe
bite
football
ponytail
e-mail
scarf
home
parallel parking
Christmas
Rotiserrie chicken

Audrey's Poem

I don’t like little chocolates in foils
or three-inch high heels.
The first person I kissed had lips cold
like a saltwater halibut.
When I walk, I feel like a ring of keys
bouncing against a bony hip.
I have never had an orgasm.
I have a pair of red tennis shoes
and when I wear them
I become even more clever
and intelligent and charming.
Some nights,
when I look out at my garden,
I feel this unknowable entity
which I can’t grasp,
and the tears hidden inside me
momentarily
catch their breath.

---

why I hate driving

It brushes you close to death and you might not even be aware of it. You think other people are idiots and they think you're an idiot. The traffic around here raises my stress levels. It pollutes the earth, its very dangerous, and people are killed by it all the time. There are so many missed opportunities for walking and exercise. Gas is expensive, and so are car repairs and maintenance. The city map grid is too confusing for words.

Good things about driving (There are only two): It gets you places quickly, and you can get more done with your day. Cruising can be fun with music. (No, there is nothing else that is good about driving.)

Stress Relief Technique

If you are stressed out right now (as a lot of us are during this time of year) one thing that really helps, that I've found, is breathing through the nose instead of the mouth. Another thing is to close off the right nostril and take 30 deep breaths through your left nostril. (This is called the Sun/Moon Breathe and I read this in the book "Get High Now" by James Nestor, 2009.) If you want to wake up close off the other nostril. The first time you do it it will probably really work and you might get very, very relaxed. If you keep doing it the effect might wear off but it will still help you relax during those stressful days and nights.
By the way, I don't know what long term effect the Sun/Moon breathe has, if any.

Intuitive

Fierce, miraculous-only she can make messes look so lovely.
she scrapes the upper crust of wisdom-she flies to the moon's
wheaty crust.
she misses nothing-no nuanced look or cold thought.
she thinks its paranoia, not realizing her gift.
swats at it like a midge.